Everyone dies. Death is one’s finale, the end of a song. Some are replayed more or less based on how much they affected us. When someone dear passes, they linger much like a soft melody that wraps us.
This is about Coy’s rescue. She grew in a competitive family and whilst growing up, she knew she wasn’t enough. She was different, the odd duckling amidst the beautiful swans.
She loved her parents and admired all her siblings. They had so much innate qualities that she had to work extra hard to analyze, embrace or practice. This made her feel alone at home during the most part of her single life. To make up, she excelled in school and at work. She knew this was the only way she would be able to compensate them for her deficiencies. Success here, was also the gauge of her own self-worth.
She got married. Her obstetrician told her, a few weeks into her pregnancy, that she had a genetic condition. It was explained that her pregnancies will lead to threatened abortions. The only approach was complete bedrest and pharmacologic therapy. Her mind screamed, “What about my career?” But, she loved the fetus in her tummy. It was an easy choice. She quit her job.
The day her baby was born was her first milestone as a mother. She was able to save and carry him full term. She promised to never let her son feel “love needy” ever. Then again, she wondered when she’d be able to work again and was told, it would only be after her baby became more self-sufficient in about two years.
She took care of her son lovingly and was excited to get back to the workplace. However, God had a different plan. The second pregnancy was tougher. Her predisposition forced her to balance bedrest, pharmacologic therapy and childcare. She had to push aside her desire to work again.
She gave birth to the most beautiful girl she had ever seen in her life. She thanked God for blessing them with a son and a daughter. With joy, her thoughts whispered, “Work can still wait.”
Shortly after, they were blessed with a business and a third child. She now had to juggle the pregnancy regimen and care of two babies alongside work. It was physically, emotionally and mentally taxing.
Her state brought severe pregnancy problems. Her doctor told her that if her pregnancy pushed through, her child would be severely handicapped. She was afraid, Duvadilan became like candy. She tried to balance everything again but failed. She lost her baby. She grieves this loss constantly and vowed to shower her older kids with extra affection throughout her life.
As the children grew and the business flourished, her children were diagnosed to have spectrum disorders. They would need series of therapies throughout their prepubescent and formative years. These were very expensive. She worked harder and cruised them between school, therapy and home life. Her parents, in-laws and husband helped as much as they could which was a “heaven-sent” each time.
They moved out of her in-law’s house and bought a home. This was a very difficult time, she lost her only reliable childcare support as her in-laws doted on her kids. She tried leaving the kids with nannies but they became sick and bruised more often so she had to hit the brakes once more and stay home more often again. She sneaked work only when time allowed.
This has been the trend of her life — family and work. No socializing with peers other than her bestfriends, once to thrice every year if she got lucky. She just did what was told and expected. Thinking about the career she missed left her either lonely or miserably depressed.
A few months ago, she joined an extended family trip. Among those in the car was her husband’s terminally-ill aunt who told stories about her childhood and of the power of faith. She was sympathetic and uttered that everyone had a choice and that in life, there are no mistakes, only lessons. She was unselfishlessly exhausting herself to extend love and moral support towards Coy directly.
Such words echoed in Coy’s thoughts long after that trip and rolled tears down her eyes for a good number of days. She found out that she wasn’t invisible. All along, someone was attuned to her feelings, understood and valued her sacrifice. Someone knew who she was, not just the homemaker and co-breadwinner everyone knew her to be.
She loved this aunt even more. She was the angel God sent in this season of her life when youth had faded away. Her wisdom and kindness filled the hole that drowned Coy for years and made her whole again.
This aunt’s passing was very painful to everyone who knew her yet joyous at the same time as her suffering was rewarded with sainthood in God’s kingdom. She is indeed the family saint and guardian angel.
This story tells how important a person is to another and how each of us can make a difference in someone’s life. Sincerity, kindness and loving gestures go a long long way — even long after we are gone.
Be a lifesaver, you might just be the person the one next to you needs. As written in 2 Samuel 22:17: “He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.”
Loving memories left behind will always be “Evergreen , Epic and Sublime.”
God bless everyone.