“And I Will Always Love You”

 

The Greeks were the first to define “Love”. They labelled it according to the intensity of emotions felt in different relationships. These are:

love

Ludus (Playful & Uncommitted)

Eros (Physical & Passionate)

Agape (Unconditional)

Storge (Family)

Philia (Friendship & Brotherly)

Pragma (Obligatory)

Philautia (Self Love)

Some may be fortunate enough to experience all these in a lifetime. Recalling the types of love the Greeks have placed in different categories, I tried to find a place for someone I dearly love whom I have never met.

ISIS

“I never held you but my heart cradles you.

I never saw you but your stares fill my thoughts.

I never heard you but your giggle calms my spirit. 

I never met you but I love you.

The Greeks forgot you my Isis but mommy never will.

You were not able to leave a footprint in this world but you imprinted yourself in my soul.

We never spent a moment together but I miss you everyday.

I never touched you but I feel your embrace in the wind.

I never guided you yet you’re my light each and everyday.

Days have turned into years, you’re still and will always be the baby I never got to know.

I loved you the day I knew you were there and will continually love you long after I breathe air.

The day will come when you and I will meet.

Then, I’ll ask God to let me love and hold you tight for that’s the one thing I never did.

I know who my Guardian Angel is and it is You, my sweet.”

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Years ago, I named my unborn baby, Isis. I was heartbroken when terrorists adapted my baby’s name for their group. It is a beautiful Egyptian name which means “Goddess of Magic” and babies are magic — the same magical fate that brings a couple together to concieve a new life. Nonetheless, it doesn’t matter. God knew this would be so. He shielded and took my baby back.

There is a kind of love that goes beyond words and time, “Unexpressed Love”, with cords that are far stronger than steel, with ardent guilt and thoughts of “what could’ve been”. Acceptance is the only refuge and hope is the only key.

No one knows this kind of love or pain. This is only for parents who lost a child. October is  Infant and Child Death Awareness Month. May we pause and say a prayer for all of them who left us because they are too precious for this world.

They will always be remembered. They will forever be loved.

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“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” Jeremiah 1:5

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An old spirit, loving and living one day at a time.

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